Saturday, June 05, 2010

Not enough Photos
I didn't take many photos in 2009. I was sad after retiring Shasta from agility and felt a loss in direction. We tried tracking/trailing for a while, Shasta did wonderfully at it, I was so proud of him, but without agility, something was always missing. I retired Shasta from agility early, a few months before he turned 9, to lessen the risk of joint injury/pain for him in his golden years. Had I known there would never be that golden time, we would have stayed in agility, Shasta and I both loved it. It was very hard to leave and I have often wished we had stayed. I should have lived in the moment more. My regrets in life are so often because I didn't live in the moment. If Shasta taught me anything - it is the moment matters most.

I feel even more sad now as I look for recent photos of Shasta and can't find any. He was a breathtakingly beautiful dog, I can't believe I didn't take more pictures. I did take some pictures after his surgery, they are even more sad for me to look at though. I want to find a photo of Shasta taken recently, but before the time when I knew I was losing him; a picture of Shasta taken when he was healthy and strong. So far I have found this one taken November 26, 2009, about a month before his 10th birthday. He was a such good boy, my baby boy, by dear friend.

My Dearest Shasta,

I will always love you, I think I always have, I just didn't know it until we met and you taught me what perfect love is. I will try and be a better person so that someday I will be able to see you again. Heaven is a happier place now that you are there. I miss you my friend.

All my love, Mavis

1 comment:

knittin gin said...

I was checking out projects of some of my Ravelry friends today and on a whim I decided to follow the link to your blog. I am so so sorry to read this about Shasta. I checked back over your last several entries, tears streaming down my face! I lost my best friend Max about a year and a half ago and it still stings at times. He died of pneumonia on Christmas eve of 2008, just two days shy of his 12th birthday.

I can really identify with the feelings of almost unbearable loss - I was in a funk for months afterward. And you're so right about there never being enough pictures! We do still have another shepherd in family and I love him dearly, but he is very much my husbands dog. (But that doesn't keep me from giving him a big hug when I'm missing my Max.)

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how truly sorry I am for your loss. Shasta was such a handsome boy and seemed like such a great dog. I know with time the pain will fade and the memories of the good times will be there to comfort you.

(your friend knittingin on Ravelry)